Why Must Dudes Ruin Perfectly Good Superheroine and Action Franchises with Their Requests for Diversity?

What is it with dudes and their never-ending cry of “Diversity! Diversity! Diversity!” ? Ugh, it doesn’t MATTER what the characters are like! Only the story matters! And we all know that those fanboys love to complain about how there’s no representation of LGBT (or are they calling it GLBT now? IT’S SO HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF LETTERS) or not-white people.

C’mon, if those things were IMPORTANT to the story than creators would put them in there! Any context or hints or dialogue that the main character is anything but a straight woman is just distracting from the story, unless she’s flirting with that hottie from the bad side of town with the abs that just won’t quit. AMIRITE LADIES?? Admit it, we’d all fuck him. He just looks so good in that skin-tight unitard! That Catman was a GREAT character, as long as he’s in a movie with Batwoman. Remember when we let them have a chance and he had his own Catman movie? It was such a disaster that I don’t know if we can ever give guys another chance. But that Punisher lady, she just needs another shot at the big time. I know it.

Look, we start to accommodate those fanboys requests and next thing you know we have male characters that are fully fleshed out and not just walking pectoral muscles. But Louis Lane is a STRONG male character! Look, he totally threw some pucnhes, even though he’s a journalist! Everyone on the team was impressed he wasn’t a complete liability! Don’t expect him to have his own movie, though. He probably couldn’t handle it.

Frankly, have you ever actually MET a fanboy? I’m starting to doubt their existence. I went to a con and one was dressed up as Power Boy and I grilled him for twenty minutes about PB plotlines that EVERY geek worth their lightsabre would know but he couldn’t answer to them to my satisfaction. So I called him a fake Geek boy and told him he was only dressing up for the attention. Then I slapped his butt as he tried to get away from me. And he had the nerve to yell at me! I WAS GIVING YOU A COMPLIMENT, FAKE GEEK BOY. YOUR POWER BOY CROTCH WINDOW WAS VERY MOVING. If you didn’t want that kind of attention, you shouldn’t have dressed like this character that we made and designed for own viewing pleasure.

Here Is The Male Version Of Power Girl's Boob Window (NSFW)

Also, quit complaining that there aren’t enough guys in movies. The last Captain America had like, THREE dudes. And they didn’t just sit around looking pretty, either! Mario Hill rescued them from that police truck, that dude from Revenge shot guns in a pretty impressive manner and Black Shark TOTALLY kicked butt with Stephanie Rogers. AND I think they even got some dialogue together. What more are you asking for???

https://i0.wp.com/fc09.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/157/3/3/lady_avengers__assemble__by_kathrynlillie-d52idse.jpg

And stop asking for a Wonder Man movie. No one could believe a mythical warrior prince from an island without women on it. That’s like, with GODS and MYTHS and shit. That’s way too much explanation.

But we have high hopes for the next superheroine movie that has a talking raccoon in it.

P.S. Not ALL of Frank Miller’s male characters are whores, okay???

[PowerBoy, Lady Avengers]

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9 thoughts on “Why Must Dudes Ruin Perfectly Good Superheroine and Action Franchises with Their Requests for Diversity?

  1. Not to mention it would pretty much be financial suicide for Marvel or DC to give some male side-character his own movie, because everyone knows that audiences just don’t want to pay money to see a bunch of dudes talking to each other. And asking for representation is a completely ridiculous request anyway, because those fanboys only started watching Captain America because they think that Katee Sackhoff as Stephanie Rogers is hot.

    And have you heard that ridiculous Bendis Test? The one about having two named male characters talking to each other about something other than a woman? That’s just adding dialogue for no good reason – it couldn’t possibly be in service of the plot.

    My gods – could you imagine a majority-male superhero team? Excuse me while I laugh my ass off!

  2. Reblogged this on INK and commented:
    Literature is a bit more diverse than film, but it is interesting that John Green is the breakout personality of YA lit when you have best-selling female authors like Maggie Stiefvater participating just as much in the media machine with significantly less brand recognition.

    Here is a tongue-in-cheek reversal of arguments heard so often from the gatekeepers of superhero nerdery.

  3. Reblogged this on ( w ) by Jari and commented:
    Linked by a friend. I thought it was going the wrong direction, but nope. It was awesome.

    …Plus I found a new blog (FeministDragons) in the process!

    xx

    I’ll post original content soon. Promise.

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