What is it with dudes and their never-ending cry of “Diversity! Diversity! Diversity!” ? Ugh, it doesn’t MATTER what the characters are like! Only the story matters! And we all know that those fanboys love to complain about how there’s no representation of LGBT (or are they calling it GLBT now? IT’S SO HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF LETTERS) or not-white people.
C’mon, if those things were IMPORTANT to the story than creators would put them in there! Any context or hints or dialogue that the main character is anything but a straight woman is just distracting from the story, unless she’s flirting with that hottie from the bad side of town with the abs that just won’t quit. AMIRITE LADIES?? Admit it, we’d all fuck him. He just looks so good in that skin-tight unitard! That Catman was a GREAT character, as long as he’s in a movie with Batwoman. Remember when we let them have a chance and he had his own Catman movie? It was such a disaster that I don’t know if we can ever give guys another chance. But that Punisher lady, she just needs another shot at the big time. I know it.
Look, we start to accommodate those fanboys requests and next thing you know we have male characters that are fully fleshed out and not just walking pectoral muscles. But Louis Lane is a STRONG male character! Look, he totally threw some pucnhes, even though he’s a journalist! Everyone on the team was impressed he wasn’t a complete liability! Don’t expect him to have his own movie, though. He probably couldn’t handle it.
Frankly, have you ever actually MET a fanboy? I’m starting to doubt their existence. I went to a con and one was dressed up as Power Boy and I grilled him for twenty minutes about PB plotlines that EVERY geek worth their lightsabre would know but he couldn’t answer to them to my satisfaction. So I called him a fake Geek boy and told him he was only dressing up for the attention. Then I slapped his butt as he tried to get away from me. And he had the nerve to yell at me! I WAS GIVING YOU A COMPLIMENT, FAKE GEEK BOY. YOUR POWER BOY CROTCH WINDOW WAS VERY MOVING. If you didn’t want that kind of attention, you shouldn’t have dressed like this character that we made and designed for own viewing pleasure.
Also, quit complaining that there aren’t enough guys in movies. The last Captain America had like, THREE dudes. And they didn’t just sit around looking pretty, either! Mario Hill rescued them from that police truck, that dude from Revenge shot guns in a pretty impressive manner and Black Shark TOTALLY kicked butt with Stephanie Rogers. AND I think they even got some dialogue together. What more are you asking for???
And stop asking for a Wonder Man movie. No one could believe a mythical warrior prince from an island without women on it. That’s like, with GODS and MYTHS and shit. That’s way too much explanation.
But we have high hopes for the next superheroine movie that has a talking raccoon in it.
P.S. Not ALL of Frank Miller’s male characters are whores, okay???